Eyes Open
by Apprentice08
Summary: A one-shot that I may expend later but doubt it. Severus finds Harry in a bad spot and ends up saving him because of similarities to his own torment as a youth. They talk and share with each other and slowly grow a small amount of respect for each other. Based on the song Eyes Open, which I feel fits with Harry very well.*Has become a random drabble so expect different story lines.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A one-shot for fun because I wanted to, influenced by the song Eyes Open by Taylor Swift… it is not a Song Fiction… more so I use the idea behind the song to fill in the conversation held. So…. You will have to look carefully for the lyrics in the conversation if you don't know the song well. Just pull up the lyrics if you don't know the song and you will be able to find them easily. Just so you know too, I am not a SWIFT FAN but on occasion she comes out with a good single… this is one of FEW. So no flames because this isn't a reoccurring thing happening here. Also, I edited this myself so there are probably still going to be spelling errors and grammar problems… I apologize. **

**Eyes Open **

The sky was covered in thick dark clouds and most of the students had retired to their perspective dorms, most could tell that the rain would come soon. They weren't far off; it started to come down just after dinner and no one was around in the halls. The open archways that led to the lush green grounds were dripping with fat water droplets as a fine mist floated through the air. The wind swirled around the columns and the heavy stonewalls of Hogwarts, causing a howling to fly across the grounds.

Severus loved evenings like this, the air was so crisp and sweet and the silence was wonderful. No students running or laughing, no pranks to fix or loud music. They were all by their warm fires in their dorms playing games and laughing far away from Severus and that is how he liked it. He stood leaning in an archway and breathed in deeply through his nose allowing the delicious sent of spring and rain to fill his mind and he closed his eyes to listen for the inevitable clap of thunder.

A sound caught his ear just then but it was not the thunder he was excitedly waiting for. A dark figure appeared across the way and as it quickly moved to cross it seemed to slip in a puddle of mud. Pushing up Severus couldn't make out the figure until they crossed the threshold and rushed through the archway. Another thud sounded as the person tripped again, heavy ragged breathing echoed down the hall towards Severus and he was about to approach to see whom he either needed to help or punish when suddenly he realized who it was.

_POTTER! _

He was going to enjoy this, as he went to make his way to the drenched boy a sob escaped Potter's throat and Severus stopped.

"_Nghk…. Shit_." Potter said gasping for breath, he was still on his knees hunching over with one elbow supporting his weight his other arm wrapped around his middle.

Severus stepped back and slid smoothly behind a pillar as he listened to the boy crying. Any number of things could be wrong, but Severus knew he was NOT the person to try to help. What ever the fool boy had gotten himself into he would have to deal with it on his own, no doubt his own foolish behavior had gotten him into this mess, what ever it was, in the first place.

"POTTER!" Another scream sounded and Severus knew to whom the voice belonged, the pretentious acid of Draco soared down the hall. Several chuckles came and Severus knew that he wasn't alone. Where was Potter's duo? Granger and Weasley usually never let the boy out of their sight, especially in the last year or so.

"Potter! You and I have unfinished business! Now that my dear father has a new home in Azkaban I feel like it is only prudent I repay the favor." Severus could hear the venom in the boy's voice and he quickly pulled out his wand and cast a Concealment Charm on his person and walked out from behind the pillar. Severus wanted to see this; he was going to enjoy watching Potter finally be put in his place.

"Not usually your style Malfoy, usually you at least allow a fair fight… four against one is a little unfair, even for you."

"Shut up scar head. I am not hear for our usual boyish squabbles… I have something a little crueler in mind. I want to share with you the humility that I have faced since daddy dearest was sent away."

"Funny, I'd think you'd be more grateful… from what I understand your father being locked up is doing a huge favor for you." Harry spat as blood dripped from his mouth. He pushed himself up on shaky legs and turned to look at the group of Slytherin's staring him down, he returned the cold glare and took a fighting stance, legs just barely holding.

"Shut your filthy mouth! My father was a good man!"

"Your father is a swine!" Harry yelled and Severus felt his eyebrow go up.

Malfoy pulled out his wand and as his hand shook he bit his lip, it was obvious the boy wanted to curse him so badly that the boy's pupils shrank. They were barely visible and his nostril's flared.

"At least I have a father you fucking prat." Malfoy said far to calmly. Harry's eyes blinked at that last comment and it was obvious who had won. Harry's hands lowered and he just looked at the boy with a blank face. Even Severus thought that statement had crossed the line, that was very cruel, even for Draco.

Severus wasn't sure where this was going. Usually he would relish the chance to watch Potter's humiliation but something seemed off about this. It didn't have the feeling of harmless jokes or pranks; this seemed a little too… familiar… to Severus. With out realizing it Severus drew his wand and waited.

He watched and in an instant Draco snapped his fingers and Crabb, Goyle and Zabini lunged and Harry, finally pulled from what Severus assumed was self-pity, turned to run again. Apparently Potter was at least smart enough to know when he was out numbered but it didn't matter. The three boys hauled the fourth to his feet and spun him around. The anger in Draco's eyes flared and he approached with a small skip in his step. In that moment Draco looked nothing like his mother and had assumed the roll of Lucius. Severus had never felt more disappointed; Draco was not becoming the man he was supposed to be.

"Time for some fun Potter. It will be quick, after all, it's almost curfew and we had some fun earlier anyway." Draco said pushing a finger into a dark bruise on the boys face.

Potter just didn't know when to quite because he spit in Draco's face, specks of blood came with it and Malfoy shot a fist forward into Harry's stomach. He looked like he was going to throw another punch when a loud noise came down the hall in waves. Draco, his three goons and Harry looked down the hall.

"You know Potter, these past few years of humiliating you have been some of the best of my life, but tonight, I think it will be the crowning jewel. Pants him." Draco said and Goyle quickly dug his fat fingers into the hem of Harry's pants and dropped them to the floor.

Just then a rather large group of students came around the corner, where they had come from was beyond Severus since he had been sure they were all in their dorms. It didn't matter though as Severus watched Draco finally pull his wand back out.

"Enjoy being the most pathetic sack of shit in school Potter… Wingardium Leviosa!" Draco shouted and the students down the hall stopped in shock as they watched Harry getting lifted up and spun upside down, his robes falling over his face and his pants getting tangled around his ankles.

Severus felt his eyes grow wide and his heart clench because this was why this had felt so damn familiar. Severus realized that the hate in Draco's voice matched that of James.

Before Severus even thought he stepped back behind a pillar and removed his Concealment Charm, he stepped back out and quickly removed Draco's wand from his hand. The boy looked over but the angery glare was wiped from his face when he realized who had done it.

Harry fell to the floor with a loud 'THUNK' and he just lay there, he sat up long enough to pull up his pants but then he just fell onto his back in resignation.

"All four of you! Fifty points from Slytherin, EACH! Go to my office now and wait for me and do not leave, I swear if even one of you tries to evade me you will suffer for it… greatly! NOW MOVE!" Severus roared and the four Slytherin's rushed away with terror.

"The rest of you have ten minutes to get back to your dorms or I will personally make sure you all get trolls in your classes for the rest of the term!" The large group of students didn't need to be told twice, they all turned and rushed off, save two.

"Harry! Blimey mate we were looking-"

"Don't." Harry said as the two approached.

"What? Harry we were trying to find you where did you-" Hermione tried to say.

"Just. Don't." Harry said sighing and slowly getting up. He arranged his robes to appear normal and then tightened his belt, which it appeared Goyle had almost ripped in half.

"Harry, please." Hermione tried again.

"I SAID DON'T! I don't care where you two were or what you were doing and I don't want to hear you apologize or any thing else! Just go away. Please. I will talk to you to later."

"Come on mate…" Ron tried.

"LATER!" Harry yelled and they both jumped and then glanced at each other.

Hermione seemed like she was about to say something but Harry shook his head, she grew determined and then said with heat, "We can't help you Harry unless you let us! You've been suffering… you need our help… when you are ready to talk about it… we will be there."

Harry nodded and turned his back on them, they quickly turned and headed back down the hall. Harry looked to watch them go and then he turned to look at Severus; the man had just stood there quietly through it all.

"Thanks." Was all Harry said, his tone was dead, as if he had never been happy a day in his life and he didn't know what true happiness really was. His eyes were glazed over and the circles under his eyes told stories of how exhausted he was.

As he turned to walk away Severus called to him, "Potter…" The boy stopped, his weary face turned to look at him and Severus felt his lips twitch and he knew that he had to say something.

"It's okay Professor… I know you enjoyed it… and it's okay… I don't blame you. I've been pretty crappy to you… well… forever." Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his wet hair and then wiped his bloody lip with his sleeve.

"You'd think after all these years I'd keep a handkerchief on me…"

Severus just stared at the boy; he wasn't feeling the satisfaction that he been hoping to feel. He had wanted to be able to go to bed with the satisfaction of knowing that Harry Potter had been taken down a peg. Instead he felt like if he looked in the mirror he would just see the bully that he had never wanted to become. Anger flared in him and as Harry turned to walk away Severus felt his old self-return.

"Potter! Don't walk away from me!" He ordered and the boy stopped again and looked back, his face no longer blank, frustration and annoyance flashed in them and he grunted, "Can't you just leave me alone? I can't defend myself against Malfoy, his stupid friends AND you… I don't have the energy."

"I am not going to attack you Mr. Potter… I want to offer my… condolences."

Harry turned fully at that statement and looked at the man, "Don't. I've gotten over the whole humiliation thing. To many years of my life had been dedicated to humility, I'd rather focus on other more important things… like Voldermort… like my future… my life… or lack their of."

"Potter… what Draco did and said… it's as bad as an unforgivable curse… you can't just act like this didn't happen. It will bother you whether you like it or not… it will build up and bitterness will fill your heart. You can't just brush things like this off… trust me I know."

"That is the most you've ever said to me." Potter said as he looked at the man with mild curiosity.

"Don't be such an ars." Severus said.

"I am not trying to be. I was being honest and you know it's true… the question is… why are you suddenly bearing your soul to me now? After so long having been silent and indifferent to my suffering. Nothing new happened tonight."

"Suffering? Why are you always so over dramatic Potter?" Silence rang between them and Severus smirked, "I suppose if you weren't you wouldn't get the attention you so desperately need."

"You are so fond of the idea that I crave attention… but honestly I just want to disappear." This wasn't a snide remark, it wasn't even defensive, and Potter had simply made a statement and suddenly walked to lean on the sill of one of the archway windows looking out over the courtyard.

"Every body is waiting, everyone is watching. Even when I am sleeping." Harry said as he gazed out into the rain, which had softened into a light sprinkle. The wind had picked up but not by much and the breeze cooled his hot skin.

"The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children. We were kids playing soldiers and just pretending, all of us were dumb enough to allow ourselves to dream dreams that had happy endings."

Severus stood there listening as Potter pushed up and leaned his back against the wall; he locked eyes with Severus's and sighed.

"Ron once talked to me about how in his back yard he would pretend to wage war with his brothers… winning battles with wooden swords… he was shocked when he found out I never played battle or war let alone owned a wooden sword. I didn't really have a childhood, something else you can relate to."

Severus was about to rebuke his statement but Harry smiled at him, a smile that was meant to be friendly but came off looking like he wouldn't believe anything Severus was about to deny.

"Now all of us have stepped into this cruel world and I've noticed over my years here and every where else that everybody just stands and keeps score… like it's some kind of game. Like my life, the life of my friends… even yours… like all our lives are just chess pieces and they can been used and moved however others want."

Harry pushed himself up and he slowly walked towards Severus, his eyes burning. "I suppose most of that I could forgive and forget. Forgiving the Dursley's for my horrible youth and forgetting everything bad that I or my friends have ever had to suffer through… but the one thing that I can't seem to get passed…" Harry trailed off and walked a little way down the hall, Severus's eyes burned into his back. The boy coughed a little and Severus saw the small splashes of blood on his hand, he groaned and shoved a near by piece of armory off the wall and Severus jerked his head at the suddenly explosion.

"Potter!" Severus yelled as he swooped towards the boy. Potter spun around and flung his fist but Severus caught him by his thin wrist and yanked him away from the fallen armory.

"Disrespectful-" Severus started but Harry cut through and said in a slightly raised voice, "I can't understand why everybody is waiting for me to break down! Why is everybody watching to see the fallout of this whole bloody war! Does anybody care that I am a human being, that I never wanted to be the chosen one!"

Severus lost his balance and his back slammed against the near by wall, as the boy started to scream he pulled against Severus's tightly coiled arms that hugged Potter's chest.

"Even when I am sleeping! It's like everyone is watching me! Watching and waiting for me to fail! I can't do this anymore!" Potter wailed and Severus pulled him tighter for the soul purpose of keeping the boy from hurting himself. He had heard this kind of talk before coming from himself; he had screamed similar words to Lily. The woman had calmed him down but Potter was on a completely different level of anxiety.

After a little longer Potter finally seemed to calm down and he went slack in Severus's hold. Both of them were breathing heavy and eventually their breathing aliened and Severus noticed this seemed to help Harry slow his breathing considerably.

Finally Harry spoke after a long time of silence, Severus still had his arms wrapped around the boy incase another round of panic and anxiety came.

"I can't do this." It was a mere whisper and Severus heard the tears in the boy's voice and he felt hot drops fall onto his own hand. Potter let his head lull back to rest on Severus's chest, soft sobs still making his body shake and Severus let him cry. After another long pause the silence grew thick and as Harry stopped crying Severus saw the boy's dead eyes staring off into space. He had not even tried to get up off the man and Severus wasn't sure he was quite ready to trust the boy wouldn't run and do something stupid anyway.

Severus finally took in a deep breath and sighed, he felt Harry relax even more. He knew what to say but he found himself saying it with much less agitation then he wanted. His voice was soft and warm and he was surprised that Potter seemed to lean closer as he spoke.

"That explains a lot you know? Here you are, two steps ahead of everyone else and staying on guard. But every lesson Mr. Potter forms a new scar. I can tell you honestly; that they never thought you would make it this far, neither did I. You've managed to keep your heart intact, some of us gave that up a long time ago. You fight for your friends and they will always return the favor."

Potter's voice was deadpan when he replied, "But turn around for one second and the enemy is always there ready to surround me. It's always a showdown and from my experience nobody ever comes to save you after the fact. I always received help when I needed it for battles or self-defense… but I never got it after the fact. I've never felt so fucking alone Professor. No one understands what I've seen, what I've had to do, not even those that have been with me."

Severus wasn't sure what he could say to that, after all this time Severus had never considered the toll that all of Potter's adventure's had taken on him. These weren't your ordinary Gryffindor adventures either, these adventures could end in torture and death. They had ended that way several times in fact. As Severus thought about it, had _anyone_ ever really considered the toll all this had taken on the boy?

"I just can't do it anymore Professor. I can't wage this war, I can't BE the chosen one… at the end of the day I am just as scared as everyone else. I am not special, I am not a hero and I just want to be left alone."

Severus knew how he felt, and he couldn't stop the words that came from his lips.

"Potter, you've got something they don't. You have something that the other side and those around you who try to hinder you don't have. Your friends are not your allies just because they will pick up a sword or offer the service of their wand; they are your allies because they love you. They care about you and you know very well how many times Dumbeldore and his blasted notion of love has upset and twisted the balance of this war. All you have to do is keep going, keep your mind right and… keep your eyes open."

The boy let out a little cry and Severus felt Potter's hands take hold of his arms trying to pry them from his body.

Severus wasn't going to give up yet, "If it's true, even if everybody is waiting for you to breakdown, even if they are watching for the fallout. Even if every night when you sleep you dream of thousands of people staring at you and screaming and burning, keep your eyes open Harry."

The boy stopped fighting him at the mention of his first name, and he just waited to see what else Severus was going to say to him, to see if the older man would use his name again. He had never heard the Professor use his name before.

Severus pulled the boy tighter and Harry almost seemed to panic but Severus pulled him close and whispered in his ear, "Keep your feet ready, your heartbeat steady and keep your eyes open. Keep your aim locked Harry because the nights will grow darker then this and if you don't keep your eyes open…"

Harry nodded quickly as if he knew and didn't want Severus to finish, "Whether you like it or not Harry, we are all counting on you… how you go about it is completely up to you but know that there are more people invested in a Voldermort free future then just you. I will die before I allow him to win this war… you can count me to be on your side Harry. And whether you like it or not… it is long past the time to grow up. Your right about one thing, the world is horribly cruel but if you try really hard, harder then you have ever tried before… you might be able to fix it one day."

Harry nodded again and he let his hands fall into his lap, "Thank you…" Harry whispered and Severus slowly released the boy, he watched to make sure the boy wasn't going to do something stupid. Harry slowly pulled away and stood, he watched Severus get up and looked down, "For reminding me what is really important and why I keep trying… no matter how bad things get."

Severus nodded but he felt Potter wanted to do something more, the boy slowly approached and before Severus could push him away the boy gently wrapped his arms around the man's torso. It wasn't like the hug that Harry usually allowed to his red headed friend, nor the type of hugs he often gave to Ginny Weasley. Severus had seen the boy give this hug to only one other person, Sirius Black.

"Enough Potter." Severus said gently removing the boy from his body, "I am not a sentimental fool, I am a realist… don't confuse the two."

Potter nodded and sighed, "I am going to go to the hospital wing… even I know that spitting up blood is probably a bad sign. Thanks again Professor. I will see you tomorrow in class."

"I look forward to your usual lackadaisical ineptitude." Severus said as he turned to go.

"And I look forward to learning about Dreamless Sleep." The boy said with a smile.

Severus turned and looked at him with mild surprise, "Not as lackadaisical as you thought Sir."

Harry walked off and rounded the corner toward the hospital wing as Severus suddenly realized something. After all this time he had finally hear Potter address him with respect, it was an interesting feeling. Severus turned to head to the dungeons where his four little snakes were waiting, a dark smirk on his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I wasn't intending to write any more entries for this piece but I had an idea and it was relatively short. I set this passage in the same story line as the previous entry. A week or so has passed by, no plot to this at all just wanting to get some ideas out. Sort of a song fic, the music is more in a memory and not so much set to anything. Also some things may be outside of the original timeline. All I know is Harry is between 15 and 16 so if something doesn't line up, don't worry about it. This isn't supposed to be a well thought out story. **

**Chapter 2**

**The Hands of Understanding**

Severus strode down the hallway heading towards the main entry to Hogwarts. He was planning to go sit by a very beautiful flowerbed, one that he visited frequently during the school year. It was in a hidden place that none of the students were ever able to find. It had been their special place, Severus and Lily's special place. They often went there when they had wanted to hide from Potter and his Marauders.

Severus was out the door and halfway across the grounds when raised voices caught his ear. A fight? Perhaps there was some sort of activity going on? Severus approached and stepped around a tree that lay in shadows. The sun was getting low but it still wasn't curfew so if it was just a couple of rambunctious students Severus could leave them to their own stupidity if they weren't doing anything dangerous.

To the potions master's dismay it was the golden trio and Ginny Weasley. Severus dismissed any notion of horseplay when he saw the looks on the student's faces.

The Weasley girl and Granger appeared to be halfway to tears and the older Weasley brother seemed to be gritting his teeth. Off a few feet was a rather disheveled looking Potter.

"Just get away from me!" Potter suddenly yelled.

"Harry please!" Hermione yelled.

"Don't beg Hermione… he isn't worth it." The Weasley boy said with venom.

"That's right. I'm not worth anything to anyone." Potter said turning to walk away.

"Harry!" The youngest Weasley said, "We…. I… we love you… please don't push us away any more. I know this is about Sirius…"

"You don't know anything! None of you do! You say you're here for me but I've never felt more alone. I can't eat… I haven't slept in days I am so tired and all I see is his face, my mother dying and I hear his laughter… that fucking bitter sweet laughter. He is inside my head. HE IS DRIVING ME INSANE! Just get away from me!"

Ginny rushed forward and Ron tried to stop her but he missed her by an inch.

"Ginny come back! Don't touch him! We will go get Dumbledore." Ron said as Ginny flung her arms around Harry.

"He took Sirius… he was your only family. He was all you had left and he was taken from you. But why can't we be your family?" Ginny pleaded and she held him tight.

Severus could see Harry shaking, he saw the boy's hands clutch, Potter wanted to hug her so badly but it appeared like he was restraining himself.

It seemed to take all his strength to take her gently by the arms and move her back.

"Ginny, until I can control Voldamort up here," Potter said pointing to his head with his finger, "I can't offer anything from here." He said putting his hand over his heart.

"I'm broken and unstable, I could hurt you, any of you. I just need you to give me some space until I can get him under control. He is rotting my mind from the inside out. And I have no way to stop him."

"Let us help you. We can find a way together; we've done so much already. You don't always have to do these things on your own." Hermione said slowly approaching. The elder Weasley was slowly unclenching his fist, which had been partially raised in case, Severus guessed, Potter had issues with Ginny hugging him.

"I can't take the chance of losing any more of you. I understand you want to fight this war with me but losing all of you would kill me. I've lost to many people already. I haven't been quick enough, I know I am not smart enough, with out you Hermione, Ron and I would have died a million times. I've got to be stronger, smarter I have got to beat him because for once this DOES have to be won on my own."

"Maybe it doesn't have to be all on your shoulders mate." Ron said as he moved forward too.

"What?" Potter asked.

"Go talk to Snape Harry." The Granger girl said with determination.

Severus felt his breath hitch a little. The last time the two had actually talked had been the incident with Malfoy and his lackeys. They had silently agreed to avoid each other, so why would Granger tell Potter to talk to him.

"He is the only one who can give you Occlumency lessons… and he helped you when Malfoy and his gang were bullying you. He will understand you. _He_ can help you."

Potter was silent for a long moment and then he sighed and shook his head, "No, he won't help me. He may be able to understand but I can't face him again. Last time we tried Occlumency I did something unforgivable."

"Harry…"

"Hermione no… I can't… I can't face him. I've humiliated myself enough in front of that man."

"I thought you don't get humiliated anymore?" Hermione said tartly.

"He's different okay! My father tormented that man! I can't just… I don't deserve his help. After all these years I finally understand why he hates me and I honestly can't say I don't deserve it. It's not like he ever got to have a go at my father."

"You are not your father!" Ginny yelled.

"Every time someone talks to you about your father you take it so personal. Even though you have almost nothing in common with the man it's like you feel you have no choice but to believe them. You never even knew him mate." Ron said.

"That's how it is. Potter is the chosen one, Potter is just like his father, Potter is the heir of Slytherine, Potter is lying about Voldemort's return, Potter is evil, POTTER IS A LOON! POTTER IS CRAZY!" Harry started to yell again.

"Harry calm down!" Hermione begged as she reached for him and in the moment of Potter's anger he suddenly let out a yell of pain and all his muscles tensed and pitched back falling onto the ground and squirming like a worm under a magnifying glass.

"GODS HARRY!" Ginny said and she jumped to his side and tried to shake him out of it.

"Go get Dumbledore!" Ron yelled at the two girls but before anyone could move Severus was running from his hidden position. He was down into the small valley and beside Potter on the ground before anyone could say anything.

"Back up you three." He said quickly as he hauled Potter onto his lap and touched the thumb and middle finger of his left hand to Potter's temples.

He started to chant as the boy continued to squirm, "Mr. Weasley will you please try to help me hold Potter still." Ron jumped forward and did his best to hold Harry still as Severus started to chant again. He closed his eyes and focused his energy and poured it into Potter. He forced his mind into Potter's and hid his own mental traces in the darker corners of the boy's mind. The images that were being pressed into his mind were disgustingly cruel. Sirius was dying, Lupin was being tortured and Dumbledore was screaming in agony.

_Focus Harry, I can only give you so much strength before I will be recognized. Press through it. Think of your mother, think of Lily. Let her give you strength!_

Severus felt Harry's presence pass by his mental aura and he gently wrapped around it and poured more of his energy to help Harry fight off the images being forced into his mind's eye.

Harry's strength grew and he drew from Severus and pushed hard against the foreign entity.

_I have to go Harry, fight him… don't give in… it's not what it seems. Be strong._

Severus withdrew and knew it was up to Harry now; if he had any kind of strength of will at all he could beat Voldemort.

Harry twisted and contorted and it was apparent he was fighting very hard.

"You two come over here. Take a hand; give him some of your essence. Help him get through this. Voldemort is really trying to get in. We must help him."

Harry gave a shriek of a yell and his back arched.

"Stop…" Harry said through clenched teeth, "STOP!" His voice echoed across the grounds as he clenched his friend's hands.

"Come on Harry…." Severus said not noticing Ginny, Ron and Hermione glancing at him in surprise.

"Harry, come out of it!" Severus said and he placed his thumb and middle finger back on the boy's temple, "Professor you can't!" Hermione said.

"Don't tell me what I can and can not do Granger." Severus snapped.

Hermione grabbed his wrist and locked eyes with him, "If your mind is picked up inside his head you could be exposed… Voldemort could find out you're a spy."

"I am aware of the repercussions of my actions but I can't take the chance of losing Harry!"

Severus knew this would have to be fast, faster than anything he has ever done before. He couldn't be seen in the boy's psyche. Severus focused hard and dived in to the boy's mind and flew through quicker then he had ever done before. He found the core of Harry's mind and stopped dead when he saw an image of Harry being skinned. What the hell was Voldemort trying to accomplish with this? This attack was random and didn't seem to have a point; it was not in Voldemort's usual style.

Severus moved quick sending his mind out and wrapping again around Harry's aura and taking hold. He didn't hesitate and he pulled as hard as he could to free Harry's mind from the force and pressure of the foreign mind that was invading his thoughts.

Severus opened his eyes and removed his hand making sure to snip the last traces of his presence from the boy's mind so that no one could trace it back to him.

Harry was staring up at him breathing heavy, his hands released their iron grip on the girls and he reached a hand up that was shaking like a rattle snake tail. Severus reluctantly took it and moved to stand and help the weak boy up. The instant Harry was on his feet he wrapped his arm around Severus's body and hugged him in earnest.

"Thank you… the things I was seeing Gods help me." Harry said just loud enough for Severus to hear, but the man made no move to hug the boy back as the other students were watching and trying to comprehend this emotional display towards the dark potions master.

"I need you three to go up to the castle and report this to Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. I will bring Mr. Potter up momentarily. There is something I must show him before he returns to the castle. And please make sure Madame Pomfrey has an open bed ready for the boy."

Whether it was the fact that Severus had just helped their friend or because they were still too shocked to argue, the three students obediently ran off across the grounds with out a second thought.

"I finally get Minerva's Gryffindors to listen to me and it isn't even in a classroom setting." Severus said with annoyance.

"Maybe if you show some more compassion like you did tonight more students would listen to you Professor."

Severus said nothing as he watched Potter try to stand on his own, "I wouldn't have to be so nasty to you all if you would just listen…" Severus started but he had to stop when Potter's knees locked and the boy toppled forward. Severus caught him and picked him up and started to walk away from where the horrible incident had occurred.

"Where are we going Professor?" Harry asked as his head lulled against the man's arm.

"I have to show you something important if you feel like you can hold off on seeing Albus and Madam Pomfrey."

"I can always hold off on seeing Madame Pomfrey."

"That's what I thought. I'm surprised she hasn't given you a medal for being the most present student in her wing. She must have your file completely updated each year you arrive and every time you leave for the summer."

Potter actually laughed and said softly, "You know Professor, you're secretly funny."

"And you are secretly smart. I wish you'd apply even a quarter of your brain in my class. You wouldn't get so much bloody trouble from me if you just tried."

"How do you know I am smart? For all you know Hermione gives me all the answers." Potter said as his eyes slowly begun to close.

"You will not fall asleep in my arms, carrying you like a baby is strange enough with out you trying to cuddle me in your sleep. And to answer your question, I have been inside your head to many times to admit and I've seen your intelligence. It is not with out its problems but you have a rather strong learning curve in there. You just need to exercise it more."

"I don't have time for classes. I've got to save the world. Aren't I lucky."

"I thought we already talked about self pity." Severus said as he set Harry down on a hillside and started to shift some rock and tree branches.

"Last time you and I talked I had the shit kicked out of me and was publicly humiliated in front of an eighth of the school. Self-pity was unavoidable. Now it isn't self pity so much as a cruel irony."

"I don't get your meaning." Severus said as he finally cleared away the rubbish to reveal a tunnel entrance about five feet tall and four feet wide.

"I don't think I do either. What's this?" Harry asked motioning to the entrance with his head.

"Something that I think will help. Can you walk long enough to get through?"

"Should be fine." Harry said pushing himself up and walking slowly over to his professor.

"Just follow behind me and try to keep your voice down, the walls of this tunnel aren't as strong as they used to be."

Harry nodded and they started down into the darkness.

"Professor, can I ask you something?" Harry asked very softly.

"If you must." Severus said using his wand to light the way.

"I know you are supposed to protect me… and I know you don't always want to. I know you don't like me for multiple reasons and that is okay… but I wouldn't have survived if you hadn't pulled me out of his grasp tonight… but you could have exposed yourself to him if he had felt you… why would you risk it? For me?"

"There are some things that you may never understand Potter, why I would risk my life for a brat like you may be one of them."

But Severus could hear how much he hadn't meant the insult in his voice, and he knew Harry didn't believe it either, "I know you risked everything for me tonight. I just want to say thank you Professor… you were the only one who could have saved me tonight and you chose to do it. I owe you my life… I would have been driven to insanity."

"I don't know about that… you can't be driven somewhere you have been all your life Potter."

Severus felt a shiver run up his spine when he heard Harry laugh rather happily at that last comment.

"Wow, you're funnier then Sirius was. He always was telling jokes but never quite had the punch lines you do."

"Humor takes wit Potter… Black was clever but he and Lupin had no wit between them. Having wit was a gift of your fathers honestly. I picked it up from him most of the time, he liked to take jabs at me and I got rather good at snapping him back."

"I know all about my father making jabs at you… I am sorry… for what he did. I don't know if he was just insecure or if his jealousy of your intelligence really pissed him off but he had no right to treat you like that. He treated you the way Malfoy treats me. It's almost uncanny and it bothers me sometimes to think that Malfoy and my dad probably could have hit it off."

"You father wasn't jealous of my mind Potter… he was jealous because I had something he wanted." Severus said as they finally reached the end of the tunnel.

Harry was about to say something but stopped when he saw what lay in the opening. It was a large clearing surrounded by flowering trees. The ground had a path that lead through a rainbow of flowers and tall grasses. Vines hung here and there and filled the air with the sweetest scents.

"Wh-what is this… this place… it smells like… my mum it smells like mum!" Harry pushed forward and stumbled a little looking around quickly, he lost his balance and stumbled and went head first into a near by creek.

Yanking his drenched head and shoulders out of the water he looked to see Severus watching him. The man wasn't making fun or him or sneering he was just staring with a blank face.

"Sorry." Harry said coming to stand next to the dark man.

Severus sighed lightly and used his wand to dry Harry and his clothes and fix the boy's all but shattered glasses.

"It's alright I understand. I am surprised you recognize the smell. We used these flowers to create a couple vials of perfume for her. She loved the smell of the flowering trees the best. Made some each year until we stopped talking."

"Wait… you and mum?" Harry asked looking at Severus with a calm surprise.

"Since we were nine or so. You mother grew up living by me in Spinners end. We were friends until around 5th year. But you saw that…." Severus said as he moved passed Harry.

"I'm sorry sir?" Harry said in a questioning tone.

"The memory you saw during your Occlumency training… that was the day I lost your mothers friendship. The worst day of my life, I betrayed her in the worst possible way…" Severus trailed off and even though Harry wanted to he didn't press the matter.

"This place Potter was made entirely by your mother. Her essence of magic is filling this place and I come to keep it young and healthy. If you are ever having a hard time with anything, school, friends or even Voldemort… you may come here if you promise to respect it and use your time here to reflect on how to fix your problems."

Harry nodded and slowly crossed to his potions professor and looked him in the eyes, "Did you love my mother Professor?"

Severus stared down at the boy and finally after a moment said, "Everyone loved your mother. I was not immune to her beauty." Severus turned to head to the exit but Harry gently placed his hand on the man's arm and Severus turned to look at him again.

"You loved her like my father loved her. You wanted to be with her… like I want to be with Ginny. Why didn't you…"

"Your mother was the only person in my life who understood me, who gave me a friend when I didn't have one. She was so gentle and perfect and any man with common sense would want to be with her. Don't think I was some exception, your mother was the love of my life but a man like me would never have been good enough for her. I was too dark for her; sometimes I thought her soul was made completely of the purest light. I wish you could have known her." Severus said putting his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Come on we need to get back before they come looking for you." Severus said.

When they reached the end of the tunnel and started to cover the entrance with all the rubbish and rocks Harry spoke softly.

"Thank you Professor. C-can I ask you something… please…"

"If you feel you must." Severus said as he moved the last big rock into place.

"The night that I saw your memories… there was an image. You were in a kitchen… on the floor holding your knees to your chest- was that at your parents house?"

"Why do you wish to know Potter?" Severus asked eyeing Harry carefully.

"Was it your father?" Harry asked taking a step closer to the man. Severus was a little confused by this line of questioning but more so by the bizarre look of hope in the boy's eyes. Did Harry Potter hope that Severus was beaten as a child? Was the boy in such a great state of hatred for him that he was hoping that Severus's childhood really had been miserable?

"I don't understand why you are asking." Severus said letting some of his discomfort and flashes of his anger show.

"Because I've been there too." Harry said softly turning to walk away.

Severus watched the boy move away from him and back towards the castle, the professors insides grew cold and small pieces in his mind that had always struggled to find a place in the puzzle that was Potter started to slowly find spots to fit into.

Several hours later there was a knock at Severus's office door and he bid the person enter. He felt his eyebrows rise when Potter moved in slowly.

"I see Madame Pomfrey finally let you go." Severus said placing his quill down. He motioned for the lights to dim a little when he saw Potter wincing at the light.

"No, are you kidding. I snuck out… I just… I had to say thanks again and I wanted to… wanted to… uhm…" Harry seemed very nervous though he wasn't sweating and the light shake seemed to be more from anxiety then fear.

"What is it Potter…"

"Earlier… when I asked you that question… by my mom's special place… I have to show you… you and I… we aren't… we aren't… I want to show you something."

Severus stared at the boy with his eye furrowed, "I've never shown anyone, but I think you will understand. Just like you understood what I needed earlier tonight. In a weird way… I trust you now more then I did…. And before the next class period… when you have to treat me like dirt to keep up appearances… I just need you to know that you and I are… we are the same."

"Potter, what on Earth are you talking about?"

"Look into my mind professor…"

"Potter I don't think-"

"Please Professor… I need you to understand." Potter said as he came and kneeled before Severus.

Severus was shocked by the boy's behavior, they had never talked with out yelling at each other but ever since that incident in the hallway the respect between them had started to grow and now the boy was treating him like Severus was his most trusted friend.

Pulling his wand from it's spot in his robes he knew he would have to be gentle, Harry's mind would still be sore from Voldemort's intrusion. He entered and felt Potter's mind gently wrap around his and guide him to one particular spot, the one area of Harry's mind that had always been blocked. Severus had always left it alone when he had penetrated the boy's mind before because it felt like a very twisted and aggressive area.

That part of the mind opened and Severus was greeted by a familiar sight, little Harry one the floor covering his head as a figure, whose image was blocked, rained down blows from a belt onto the boy. Harry was then sent to the cupboard and locked in. Another slow flash and then an image of Harry running down the street with a small group of older boys chasing after him.

Another flash showed Harry in the kitchen with his legs to his chest in a corner, a frying pan spilled on the floor and a single figure with no image yelling profanities and verbal abuse in Harry's direction.

Severus felt Harry give a small push and Severus quickly withdrew. The boy seemed a little disoriented and Severus reached out to help steady him.

"So… are we… are we the same?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes." was all Severus could bring himself to say.

Lunging forward Harry desperately wrapped his arms around Severus's torso and in that moment Severus saw a completely different Harry. No rebellion or anger, no smart mouth comments, no defiant eyes or a set jaw. He looked relieved and at peace "I felt so alone, no one understood anything. Even when I tried to tell Ron and Hermione, they urged me to tell Dumbledore or McGonagall but they just didn't understand. I couldn't. Please don't tell anyone Professor." Harry said as he pulled away, "It's been a long time since they've had the bravery to try me. All the stuff that happened as a kid hasn't happened now that I have magic and I don't want anyone who wouldn't understand to know. I don't want pity and I don't want people to think I am more of a freak then they already do. I am the chosen one and I need people to believe in me if I am to believe in myself. If they found out that I am damaged… that may not think I have the power to defeat Voldemort."

"I won't say anything but Harry you've got to understand something… just because we've both suffered doesn't mean we can't have normal lives. Once all of this is over you will have your chance to be a normal person. A husband and father if you so chose, maybe an Auror, the Headmaster of a school or maybe the head of the Mystery of Magic. You will be able to do anything you want so don't dwell on your past too much. It doesn't decide our future for us."

Harry just nodded and turned to go. As Harry got to the door he turned to look at Severus and said sadly, "I wish my dad and Black could have seen you as a friend instead of an enemy. I think you would have done my dad some good in the end."

Harry walked out the door and closed it gently behind him, the last time the boy had walked through that door to leave Harry had been so mad he had slammed it and kicked it for good measure.

Things were different now. The two had an understanding, they had respect for each other and hopefully they would be able to keep it that way. Severus looked at the picture hidden behind many jars of ingredients. Because Potter was one of his students he had had to hide this picture for the last few years. But now that Harry was aware of the situation Severus could finally place the picture on the desk where it belonged.

It showed a fourteen year old Severus and Lily hanging from a tree branch, Lily by her hands and Severus by his knees. They were laughing and waiving and Severus could hear her words still to this day.

_Come on Sev! Just because you're a snake doesn't mean you can't act like a monkey!_

_If I do this I better get a kiss. _

_For sure! _

_There see? By my knees just like a monkey. _

_SMILE SEV!_

_What? Oh Lily no don't-_

_I bet that picture turns out nice, thank you, MWHA! _

_THUD! _

_Oh Sev, you okay?_

_Yeah, fine, what kind of perfume is that? _

_Supposed to be flower but it doesn't smell that good. _

_Hey Lily, I got an idea, bet I could make you the best perfume you've ever tried. _

_Oh I can't wait to see this…. _

Severus sighed and a small smile escaped his lips, he would have been Lily's monkey any day of the week.

**A/N: There you go, another random one shot to add to your many collections if you liked it. Thanks for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So this is a one or two shot depending on how I end it. This story has nothing to do with the previous two chapters that I have posted. Let me know what you think of this.**

**The Servant Boy**

**Part I**

Harry was lying in his bed and staring at the small ceiling of his equally small bedroom. His heart felt like lead and his skin was cold and clammy, the cold sweat that dripped from his brow merged with the few tears that spilled from his eyes. Harry wished he could say he felt so horrible because his uncle had worked him mercilessly today, or because he had had a rather bad bought of food poisoning from eating some of the left over scraps from the rubbish bin. But in all honestly, even though those previous statements were true, Harry could put the issues from the horrible incidents of the day on hold for the simple reason that he was in mourning.

Sirius had died less then three weeks ago and Harry's wounds were still fresh and raw. It seemed no matter how hard he was worked, or starved or ignored and isolated from his friends, the pain Harry felt for the loss of his beloved friend Sirius beat any other pain or feelings of sickness that were present.

His summer had barely begun and he had already been over worked, under fed and locked in his room for the rest of the time. But the truth was he didn't notice anything other then the throbbing that twisted and mutilated his heart. Sirius was dead; his one chance to escape this place and have a real life, a real family and now his godfather and good friend had been murdered by that twisted bitch of a woman Bellatrix Lestrange. One day Harry would make her suffer, but for now all he could do was lay in his room after a long day of ungodly chores and horrible stomach cramps and wish that he had jumped through the veil after his god father.

"Boy! I say boy! Come down stairs!" Came a yell through his door as the locks twisted open and a knuckle brought loud banging noises on the old wood. Harry was tempted to ignore the command, as he wasn't sure he could make it down the stairs with out hurling. Harry wasn't a stupid person, he knew the chances of getting sick from eating out of the garbage were high, but he hadn't had a decent meal in days and he had been so hungry. Perhaps if Harry hadn't been forced to do so much work his hunger would have been lost to his depression but as he was using more energy then he was taking in he finally gave in and stole something that he knew wouldn't be missed.

"Get up freak!" Came the call of his uncle again, it wasn't as loud as it normally was and Harry was surprised. He slowly stood on shaky legs, wincing as he felt the blisters from his sunburn stretch across his shirt. Tomorrow he didn't give a care of the repercussion; he was stealing some damn sunscreen from the bathroom.

Harry exited his bedroom and slowly made his way down stairs, only pausing a moment to try and keep his stomach down. If he threw up on the new carpet Harry realized the blisters wouldn't be a problem anymore. The belt would pop each one, mostly likely adding to the mess on the carpet and creating further misfortune for himself.

He finally crossed the threshold into the living room and put his hand on his stomach and wavered a little, "Yes, Uncle Vernon?" Harry asked. Noticing that his aunt and cousin sat next to Harry's uncle staring off behind him the boy felt a shiver run up his spine and he turned to see who was behind him.

Professor Snape was sitting on the love seat staring at him with a rather curious gaze. Harry felt his eyes go wide and his jaw drop and he quickly tried to straighten out his rather disgusting clothes and as he tried to flatten his hair to his head his knees shook slightly.

"Prof-fessor…. I… what are you…" Harry couldn't finish and suddenly felt a fat hand take him by the scruff of his neck, "Sit down and shut it." Uncle Vernon said with a little less force then he normally did, he pressed Harry down onto the floor and the boy blanched a little as his stomach shifted. He wiped the sweat from his brow and looked at his professor who was still eyeing him with an expression Harry had never seen before.

"Now, the boy is here. What is the meaning of this? Why are you here?" Uncle Vernon asked as he released Harry and placed his hand on his knee only a few inches from Harry's head.

If it had been Dumbledore the Dursley's wouldn't have laid a finger on Harry but they didn't know Snape. They didn't realize he could be more dangerous in a different way. Not that Harry expected Snape to run to his rescue or warn the Dursley's to lie off of him. He just hoped, that if he offered to scrub the man's cauldrons for the entirety of next term that the man wouldn't reveal anything embarrassing he might learn while here.

"I was sent by Professor Dumbledore to check on Mr. Potter. He hasn't been writing or keeping in contact with anyone from school and Dumbledore wanted to make sure that he was doing okay considering the recent events that occurred."

"Recent events?" Uncle Vernon asked with curiosity.

Snape stayed silent and Harry knew he was going to vomit; he wiped his forehead again and gave a very soft groan.

"Quiet." Vernon hissed and rather gently smacked the boy upside the back of the head. Harry felt a wave of dizzy nauseous heat rise in his chest and head.

"The loss of his Godfather had surely taken a toll on the boy…" Snape started in his icy voice.

"The loss of who Severus?" his aunt asked and Harry jerked his head to look at his aunt. How the bloody hell did she know his name?

"I see Harry has not informed you of any of his recent activities while at school then?" Snape asked in a rather disturbed tone.

Harry's head turned to look at his uncle who was glaring at him.

"D-drinks!? Anyone want drinks." Harry asked and his voice cracked horribly. Dudley who had been silent until now gave a snort and murmured, "Faggot."

Harry, whose whole day had been bad enough as it was, felt anger rise in him and he turned to look at Dudley and said softly, "Sadist."

Before Harry could move Dudley was up and grabbing him, "SHIT!" Harry said as the boy grabbed him by his hair and tossed him to the wall. His head banged on it but not hard enough to really hurt.

"ENOUGH!" cried Vernon and Dudley sat back down with a huff, "Go get the bloody drinks you fool." Vernon said surprisingly soft.

Harry jumped up and rushed from the room and into the kitchen. He took a moment and allowed his breathing to calm down. His anger swelled up after a moment when he realized what this meant. Snape was in his living room, with his relatives. No doubt taking pleasure in his appearance and the whack he had just taken from his cousin. He would have to deal with this all year now, now doubt the man would take advantage of this. Harry kicked the garbage can and then instantly regretted it. He pulled it back close and lost the small amount of food he had in his stomach. Though he doubted the half eaten spoiled banana and small piece of left over meat had been doing him any good in the first place. His legs gave out and he sat on the floor feeling the sickness take hold.

He only waited long enough for it to pass before he quickly set water to boil and managed, despite his shaky hands, to set a tray with the proper amount of teacups and a small plate of cookies. When the water boiled he added the tea and then placed the teapot on the tray and slowly made his way back to the sitting room.

When he entered only Snape looked at him and he quickly served everyone excluding himself, he didn't think his stomach could handle it plus he never usually was allowed to partake anyway. Once everyone was served he crossed to the fireplace and sat with his back against the wall and winced. The blisters on his back were so sore. Harry thought he might be sick again and wanted to be able to make a clean get away incase he needed the bathroom.

"As it remains, you are still the only legal guardians he has." Snape said a moment later.

"Not surprised, even if the man was still alive I couldn't see him being able to put up with the brat. Never does enough around here and he is rather cheeky." Vernon said not even glancing at Harry.

Normally he was used to being treated like he wasn't in the room during a conversation but with Snape here it felt bad, really bad, like he was suddenly not even a human. He was used to his relatives treating him like dirt but to have a professor do it, even one as cruel as Snape, Harry felt annoyance and frustration rise up in him.

"So, this Sirius Black, he knew the boy's mother?" Aunt Petunia asked.

"And Mr. Potter's father, he was a family friend."

"And he was a freak like the boy too?" Vernon asked finally nodding towards Harry.

Harry noticed his aunt stiffen and watch closely as Snape slowly set his teacup down next to him.

"Freak?" Snape asked glancing towards Harry's aunt.

"You one of them too?" Dudley asked before aunt Petunia could reply. Harry felt his heart go cold; Dudley rarely ever spoke when someone from his school came around. Ever since Harry had met Hagrid and the whole incident with the pigtail, Harry's cousin usually held his tongue.

"No." Harry said softly. Everyone looked at him and Harry sighed, "He isn't a freak. Just different."

There was a moment of silence, as everyone seemed to realize that the tension was growing thicker.

"Look Mr?"

"Snape." The professor said.

"Yes, right, Mr. Snape, the boy is fine. He seems a little more lethargic then normal but he is fine. He is keeping up with his chores and mostly stays in his room. If there is anything else then?"

Snape looked over to Harry and the boy very barely shook his head no and watched as the professor looked back at the three muggles before him.

"There is one other thing, I need to speak to Mr. Potter alone a moment."

Harry perked; did the man have a message from Dumbledore? Snape would have left at any chance given to him if he could so if he had to stay longer it must be a message from Dumbledore.

"Very well, take him up to his room, I am tired of looking at him anyway. When he's done with you come back down and clean up this mess." Vernon stood and headed towards the kitchen and Harry's aunt followed. Harry stood on shaky legs and crossed to his professor as Dudley stood and shoved him. Harry went sideways but was shocked to find he had been caught by his professor who gently set him right. Dudley walked from the room and turned to look back, "So, the guys are meeting at the old construction site tonight, if you aren't there for a quick game of H.H. we will just come and find you tomorrow while your weeding the garden." The boy smiled and walked off towards the kitchen.

"Go suck an egg you bloody vulture." Harry murmured as he looked at his professor.

"Is it a message from Dumbledore?" Harry asked.

Snape simply motioned for him to lead the way and Harry sighed as he headed for the stairs.

Once in his room Harry sat on the bed and tried to ignore how ill he felt. He removed his glasses to wipe his face and then replaced them to see Snape looked around thoughtfully.

"What?" Harry asked feeling his embarrassment rise to his face. "My room is small because I'm small. You saw Dudley; you think he could fit in here? Let alone all his junk and his bed?"

"I doubt it." Snape said under his breath and Harry couldn't help the small smirk that came to his face.

"You feel alright Potter?" Snape asked and Harry looked up at the man through foggy eyes.

"Fine sir, what is the message from Dumbledore?"

Snape didn't say anything but he did pull out his wand and Harry anxiously stared at him.

"Relax Potter." Snape said as he gently waved the wand over him. A piece of parchment appeared and Harry could see writing on the other side.

"Is that his message?" Harry asked.

Snape didn't say anything but Harry saw the man's brow furrow as his eyes scanned the paper.

"Potter, take off your shirt."

Harry froze and slowly looked up at the man and a feeling close to fear and panic swept over him.

"Uh, Professor I…"

"Your. Shirt. Potter." The man said through gritted teeth.

Harry knew better then to disobey his feared potions professor when he gave that look, slowly Harry removed his shirt and felt some of the blister's puss was sticking to his shirt. When he finally got it removed Snape grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him up, "Turn around."

Harry did and tensed a little waiting for a jab at him; instead he was greeted by silence. A moment longer and Harry felt a single finger gently touch his skin. He spun around and reached for his shirt on the bed, "Don't bother." Snape said reaching into his robes.

He pulled out a medium sized jar from his cloak and took hold of Harry's shoulder. Harry reluctantly allowed the man to spin him around and soon Harry felt a wonderful sensation on his back. Harry couldn't help himself and he sighed and relaxed into the touch. Several minutes later the blistering pain of his sunburn was almost completely gone.

Harry turned to see his Professor replacing the salve in his robes. Harry was about to open his mouth to say thank you when his stomach let out a rather disgusting noise and Harry grabbed his stomach and ran to the small trash bin in the corner of the room. His cold sweat had returned and a wave of sick hit him hard. He tossed up mostly liquids and phlegm now. There just wasn't anything in there to get rid of.

When he finally stopped he pushed himself away from the bin and leaned against his closet door, "Sorry." Harry said as he closed his eyes a moment to stop the room from spinning.

"You have food poisoning." Snape said.

Harry nodded and said almost with a smirk, "Don't eat out of a rubbish bin, it's never as tasty as it looks."

Snape snorted and then reached into his robes again and pulled out another vial, which contained a light blue liquid.

"Drink." Harry shook his head, "I can't throw up anymore, to tired, I will just choke on it."

Snape didn't respond, he simply tilted the bottle to Harry's lips and the boy drank reluctantly.

His stomach gave one last grumble of protest but then settled and Harry instantly felt better. His sweats and shaking stopped and his stomach felt normal and rather full for once.

"Thanks." Harry said looking at his professor.

The man nodded and stood to walk back over to the piece of floating parchment, "Excellent." Harry said standing and crossing back to his bed, it had been days since he had let Hedwig out for a fly and he finally felt good enough to do it. He opened the cage door and the bird took off so quick that Harry almost lost his balance.

"Sorry! Sorry! I haven't been feeling well Hedwig!" He cried as the bird flapped around him and pecked at his head, "It won't happen again, I promise!" With that the owl took off through the window and into the night sky.

Harry turned to see Snape eyeing him up and down, "Yes?" Harry asked again though his tone was friendly. At this point, aside from his feelings about Sirius, Harry felt so much better then he had earlier. He couldn't bring himself to be snippy with the man.

"Your wrist Mr. Potter, and the bruise around the back of your neck…how did these injuries occur?"

Harry's smile faded and he felt the good feeling that had been ballooning him into a good state of mind start to deflate.

"Dudley. Him and his friends."

"I see, and the three broken ribs from last summer?" This made Harry falter.

"I uh, you know, I was climbing a tree to prune some… wait, how did you know my ribs were broken?"

Snape motioned with his wand and the piece of floating parchment came to Harry who grabbed it and read it quickly.

"A diagnostic Spell?" Harry asked as he scanned the rather large list of injuries.

"Though Diagnostic spells can cover most of a person's life history of serious injury on one or two pages you only have about two years here and it would take about fifteen to twenty pages or so to show the rest of your medical history."

Harry released the page and looked at the man with angry eyes, "So?" Harry said allowing some of his attitude to surface.

"So it seems that you have a very large amount of injuries to go through and most of them do not coincide with you and your friends little romps with the dark lord."

Harry turned away from the man, who as of yet, had not raised his voice or spoken one word of negativity towards him. Snape was not being himself and Harry didn't like it.

"Potter I…"

"I don't want your pity Snape… I just want to turn seventeen and then get the hell out of here." Harry was looking out the window trying to see if Hedwig was on her way back yet, he felt a large warm hand on his shoulder.

"I don't pity you Mr. Potter. I pity the people would could do these things to a child and not feel an announce of remorse."

"I am not a child. I don't think I ever was. Is it so much to ask for the pain to just stop?" Harry said as he felt the man step closer.

"No. It's natural and honestly I am surprised you lasted this long with out breaking."

Harry spun around and knocked the man's hand away, "Just stop it, you don't know anything. Not about me, or my problems…"

"You're in denial." Snape said in an icy tone.

Harry reached for his wand and pulled it out pointing it directly at Snape.

"Who the hell are you! You're not Snape. The real Snape wouldn't give a damn about me or my problems."

"I can assure you Mr. Potter, I am myself."

"Prove it!" Harry snapped.

Snape looked him straight in the eye and said, "During your Occlumency lessons you, being a rather nosy little brat, saw something in my pensive, something that only the Headmaster knows about. It had to do with your father."

Harry felt his legs grow weak and his hand slowly lowered, "I never told anyone…" Harry said as he realized that this was really Snape in front of him.

"For which I am surprised, if not reluctantly grateful."

"I'd never… seeing my father… do those things." Harry walked over to his desk and set his wand down, he placed his hands on the cool wood and leaned there a moment.

"To see that you were right, that my father was nothing more then a bully. He was a cruel man that found pleasure in other peoples torture and torment… and everyone tells me that I am just like him." Before Snape could react the boy had grabbed the small chair and wiped it across the room. It gave a nasty crack and lay in pieces on his bed.

"He was nothing but a – a…"

"He was young." Snape said trying to move forward towards Harry.

"He was cruel! He was everything that I try not to be! He is the embodiment of all the things I find disgusting in a human being. I grew up with people like him. People who pick on you because you're small or weak, because you don't belong or are different, because you're a freak. When I saw that memory I didn't know how to handle it, I thought it must have been a lie, something you fabricated to hurt me. But I knew deep down it was the truth. And every day after when I looked in the mirror and saw his reflection where mine should me, I just wanted to cut him out of me."

Silence fell for a long moment and then Snape tried to approach again.

"Mr. Potter, there are something's we can't change. The way your father was, what he did to me… you can't change that. But you can prevent it from happening again, you have prevented it. You may look like James Potter, but you are not him. It's taken me far to long to see that and you may find this hard to believe, perhaps even unbearable to hear, but as I see it, you are just like your mother and like myself….in all honesty your kindess and love-"

"Like you?" Harry asked looking up as the darkly clad man.

Snape seemed to hesitate; it was like a frame from a movie that had been stopped randomly while it was playing.

Harry was going to tell the man to forget he had asked when his professor started to undo the buttons of his robes.

Too shocked to speak, too terrified to see where this was going Harry stood frozen, unable to speak or move or reach for his wand.

Snape removed his final shirt to reveal the top half of his body and at first Harry didn't notice anything. But as Snape slowly turned around Harry noticed large but faded marks on the man's arms and torso. As Snape turned his back to the boy Harry's eyes grew wide. Scars littered the man's back, belt marks, burn marks, cuts and small gashes covered him.

"You were-" But Harry didn't finish as he moved forward without realizing it. His hand reached out and a finger gently traced a mark on the man's back. Goose bumps appeared on the pale flesh and Harry pulled back coming out of his trance.

"I'm sorry Professor… I didn't mean to." Harry looked at the floor because he wasn't sure he would ever be able to look the man in the eyes again. So much had been explained about the dark brooding man before him. So much had been shared with out the need to actually talk. When Harry felt a finger on his chin several minutes later his eyes were raised to look into the dark shadows of Snapes.

"Between you and me, I've eaten worse things then what you may find in the rubbish bin. Sometimes I would get so hungry I would eat the scraps left over from the fish market down the street."

"Did you ever feel so disgusted with yourself afterwards that you wondered why you didn't just end it then and there?" Harry asked gazing into the man's eyes and hoping Snape's answer would help him.

"I actually tried once. Your mother found me in a tree we used to play by, hanging from a rope." Snape pointed to his neck, which was usually covered by a collar, and Harry saw a burn mark.

"Rope burns seem to hurt longer then a regular burn and sometimes I think I can still feel the rope around my neck."

Harry took a deep breath and then moved away to sit on the bed, the wood behind him shifted and he picked up a piece of one of the legs.

"I thought of stabbing myself once, right here in the heart. I'd never have done it though. To scared of what I might miss, people I might never get to meet or places I would never get to go. But after being locked up for so long, either under the stairs or in this room… if I had never gotten my Hogwarts letter…"

Snape nodded, "I wouldn't be here either. Hogwarts became my safe haven growing up. It is only natural with how warm and protected the place feels."

Harry nodded and watched as his professor started to redress. Harry reached for his shirt and a small laugh escaped his throat.

"What is it?" Snape asked.

"Never thought I'd be half naked with my potions professor… kind of weird… in a good way."

"There are a lot of things that have happened in my life recently that I would have never expected, yet they are before me and I have learned to deal with them. You will too in time."

"Could I… at school… If I need someone to… if I keep it a secret…"

Snape kept his face blank as he said quickly, "If you need someone to talk to, about this particular subject matter or perhaps other things that may bother you… you know where my office is."

"Thank you professor." Harry said as he watched the man get ready to leave. Snape approached the door and turned and with a flick of his wand repaired the chair on the bed.

"One last thing Mr. Potter, I was sent here by the headmaster to check on you. I've done that, but now I must go give him a report. Please be aware of what this means and know that you'd do best to prepare yourself, I will be seeing how soon you can be moved from here. Enjoy the rest of your summer."

Harry could do nothing but nod as his potions master left with a flurry.

**A/N: So Read and review and let me know what you think! I have a second part that I am working on but am not sure if I should post it. Do you think this will work better as a one short or a two part?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I have decided for now I don't want to add part II to Servant Boy. I like how I ended the previous one so this is a new one shot to add to my drabbles. Taking place during OOTP I think… not exactly story line based so much as just situational…. I don't know what I am talking about. If I decide to post the part II of Servant Boy I will make it as such. This is another not connected story that I put under Eyes Open because I don't want to have a bunch of one shots on my fiction page. Enjoy! **

**Chapter 5**

**Beg for Mercy **

Harry was pulled out from the pensive and slammed against one of the walls that were filled with potion vials. One wobbled on the edge and with out thinking Harry reached out and caught it before it hit the ground.

Standing, the boy turned to look at the man who had thrown him so harshly against the wall of his office. Severus Snape looked livid, his normally ashen skin was ghostly white and his brow, which was furrowed most of the time anyway was so pressed together in outrage that Harry was worried it would never go back to normal.

"How dare you-" Professor Snape started but Harry cut in quickly in an attempt to make the man understand.

"I'm sorry Professor, I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"

"Get out. Your lessons have come to an end," the steaming professor hissed as he grabbed an empty vial off the nearby shelves and hurled it at the wall next to Harry's head.

"GET OUT!" The man reached for another vial but Harry was already backing away and turning to run out the door. He let the vial he had caught earlier drop to the ground and he heard the shatter just as his professor hurled another vial at the closing door.

Harry was running through the halls so fast he didn't even noticed the questioning look of the few remaining students. He ran all the way from the dungeons to the tower and didn't even stop to breath.

Upon finally reaching the portrait the fat lady asked for the password and he blurted it out and shoved the portrait the rest of the way open, much to the protest of the fat lady who seemed even more offended then normal.

Harry heard Ron call to him and Hermione shouted after him but the dark haired boy didn't stop. When he reached his dorm room he jumped onto his bed and slide the curtains closed. He felt like at any moment Professor Snape would come after him in an attempt to wipe his mind.

Professor Snape in all his fury had put an end to their lessons together, which meant Harry now only had to deal with the man in his classroom. It would be rough; there would no doubt be repercussions. The man would probably take every moment from here to the end of this year to torture Harry and make his life the most miserable it could be.

But it also meant that Harry wouldn't have to deal with the man trying to delve into his mind. He wouldn't have to block the memories he so often hid from everyone. Especially Professor Snape. It had been the only thing he could block, the darkest memories he had. He wasn't even sure Snape had noticed that there was a block on a certain part of his mind. It was not the type of block that Snape had been trying to teach Harry it was a different one, the kind of block that had to be forced away. Harry hadn't created this block; he simply had tried to divert his prying professor's third eye from a shield that Harry wasn't even creating.

Harry would never have to deal with Professor Snape forcing his way into Harry's mind ever again. And for a moment Harry James Potter was happy.

0000

_"KILL HIM! GUT HIM! RIP HIS SKIN FROM HIS BODY!" The voice was hissing so loud in his ear that Harry couldn't resist. He reached his hands out and saw the blood dripping from them. They shook as he reached for the face of a man he had never seen before. The man was weeping and screaming as he begged for mercy but Harry didn't bow to his pleas. He gripped the corners of the man's face and began to slowly tear the cold wet flesh from the man's skull. _

Harry bolted up in bed and stared out into the darkness of his dorm room and he saw several pairs of eyes looking at him. He jolted from his bed and headed for the stairs that led down to the common room.

Falling onto the couch that lay in front of the fading fire Harry felt something prying at his mind. It was like someone was taking their fingers nails and trying to dig into the tissues of his brain. Harry felt his head jerk to one side as he tried to fight off the person who was attacking his mind with out remorse.

He was being pulled into his own psyche and couldn't fight back.

_ "Hello, Harry." A voice in the darkness whispered. "It's been a long time since we've gotten to talk face to face." A long tongue slid past Harry's ear and the boy shivered in revulsion. _

_ "Do I repel you Harry? I would think after years of being so close you might find some comfort in my presence." _

_ A sharp fingernail gently ran down the length of his spine. "I never really knew what I could accomplish with this bond between us. Now that I know the existent to which I can molest your mind, I think it's time we spend a few hours together with out any outside influence. Just you and me, and our special bond." _

_ Harry felt that sharp fingernail suddenly jab into his back and as he let out a scream a cold and sticky tongue licked up his neck to his temple. _

_ "This isn't happening! It's not real!" Harry protested as he tried to dislodge the dark lord's finger from his back. _

_ The larger of the two twisted his finger deeper and Harry shrieked in pain, "It depends on how you choose to see things. While I have a large talent for the truth behind potential pain and its many uses, your narrow mind can't seem to comprehend that I am here with you right now, hurting you, making you cry, I am the one who haunts you and terrorizes you and manipulates you. I feed all your disgusting perverse thoughts, and tell you to kill those who have wronged you. Take a moment and allow yourself to bask in my glory, because soon you will be too brain damaged to tell the difference between me as your Lord and me as your God. Let me put things into perspective for you." _

_Voldemort ripped his finger from Harry's body and Harry screamed as he smashed into the ground. A flash of light in the endless darkness revealed nothing but more darkness and a pain so excruciating that Harry thought his heart would explode in his chest and that his brain would melt. _

"HARRY! WAKE UP MATE! HARRY!" Another jerk into reality and away from his dreams revealed the common room and Ron and Hermione sitting in their night clothes beside him holding him down.

"Blimey, we thought you were going to hurt yourself. What the bloody hell was that all about." Ron asked with a red face.

Harry could barely register what was happening, he could barely understand what Ron had said. But he did know what was happening to his mind, and he knew only one person could help him.

"Snape… take me to… Snape." Harry managed to murmur as spittle dripped from his mouth.

"Stand back." Hermione said as she pulled her wand out and levitated Harry. The boy suddenly jerked and the spell backfired, Harry fell back onto the couch.

"Looks like we have to carry him." Hermione said.

"Right, I got him, go on ahead and find Dumbledore, I will get him down to the dungeons." Hermione nodded and rushed off, Ron, knowing this was going to be a very difficult task tried to figure out the best way to manage. Harry was not unconscious but his body seemed unwilling to function.

Having no other choice Ron grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him up while throwing his friend over his shoulder.

"Hold on Harry." Ron said as he headed out of the portrait. Charlie had carried one of the unconscious baby dragons from his breeding program like this once and Ron found that aside from the pain in the shoulder it allowed for very little restriction of his feet movement.

He was halfway to the dungeons when Ron felt Harry jerk and he lost his balance. He toppled back and his head bashed the corner of one of the windows and he lay there unconscious. Harry was still awake but fighting every moment to keep the dark lord from taking over again. He had to get Ron help, thankfully just at the moment Nearly Headless Nick was floating up and down through the ceiling.

"Nick!" Harry just barely managed to yell.

The ghost looked down and gave a call of surprise, "Young Mr. Potter, and Mr. Weasley of course how can I-"

"Madame POMFRY…. NOW!" The boy cried out through tears as another jolt of pain wracked his body.

Nick suddenly realized the gravity of the situation and nodded, "Of course!" He flew off through the walls. Harry knew Ron would be fine once the medi-witch got here. Now he had to get to the dungeons on his own, he couldn't wait.

_ "Haaary, come back and play with me." _

The hissing voice of Voldemort was only in his mind but it had sounded like it had echoed down the hallway. Another jolt as Voldermort tried to press into his mind.

Harry screamed out, "NO!" And as Voldemort's strength gave a little Harry shoved up and managed to drag his body down the hall to the dungeon stairs.

Voldemort pushed back and Harry jerked again, he went down and rolled and bounced the length of the stairs. A pain in his arm suddenly pulled him further from his mind and away from the clutches of Voldemort. Pain from the outside seemed to weaken his hold on Harry.

Harry didn't have his wand but he needed some way to hurt himself, he noticed a lose piece of stone in the wall and pulled it out. He put his hand on the ground and took a deep breath and then a gulp and smashed the rock down on his hand.

Harry felt Voldermort pull even further away from him as Harry bit his tongue in an attempt to silence his scream. Blood flavored his mouth and he cradled his shattered hand as he stood and once again tried to reach Snape.

When he reached the correct door he pounded on it with his good hand until there was no doubt left in his mind that the man had heard. And when the door flew open and Snape's angry face turned to one of mild confusion Harry shoved passed him and fell onto the floor.

"PLEASE!" Harry begged as he felt Voldemort trying to get back in. He let out a lesser yell as he heard words being whispered into his ear.

"_Don't even try to block me Harry, we are a part of each other and any attempts to block me will only hurt you further. I am your kinsman now, your only truth and you know it!" _

"Oh God please, PROFESSOR PLEASE HELP ME!" Harry could partially make out the man kneeling down next to him, forcing one of his eyes open so he could shine a bright light into them.

"SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" Harry bellowed as he tried to fight off the remarks that Voldemort was trying to whisper to him.

_"There are other ways for us to exist together, it doesn't have to be all this pain all the time. I could make this pleasurable for you, so pleasurable you'd never want to wake up." _

Harry felt a sudden warmth flood his body and the pain was replaced with a pleasure that was tainted and raw, something so primitive that he felt his whole body react like he had been on the edge of climax. He released in his pants and shuddered, "God stop!" Harry begged as he felt Snape's eyes watching his body react.

"Harry, Harry if he is offering things to you, if he is trying to pull you to him don't go! Fight him. Remember to shield your mind! Focus on something, focus on anything that will pull you away from him and allow you to fight his hold. BLOCK HIM OUT! Don't let him take advantage of your mind or your body!" Harry heard Snape yell.

Harry thought of his mother, he tried to ignore everything else and focus only on her. How beautiful she was, how kind and loving, how pure and clean and untouched she was by evil and impurities.

In that moment he felt like he had more control and he reached his arms out pretending to be wrapped in a hug by his father who was teaching him to ride a broom for the first time. He hadn't expected to actually feel the warmth of a body press into him and hold him tight. But he felt a real human body holding him, rocking him, giving him warmth and strength and he imagined it was his father and his mother and his friends and Dumbledore and Dobby and Sirius and Remus and anyone else who was important in his life.

Then, as if protecting those people were the most important thing Harry let out one last panicked yell as he finally felt the large cage around his mind shut and a lock was secured tightly keeping his shield in place.

The whispers faded, the pain faded and the parts of his mind that had been under attack the last hour were only throbbing lightly. Harry was breathing so heavy he though his lungs were shredded.

"Don't let go." He said desperately to whoever had hold of him, "Please don't let go." He dug his face deeper into the warmth and despite the fact that he was a teenager, almost old enough to be with out the magical trace, he hugged the person tighter and started to sob.

"Please don't let me go, I don't want him to get back in. I'm too tired to fight him anymore tonight. Just hold on to me, please."

The arms around him pulled him closer and he took in one more deep breath and released it slowly.

"I'll try to calm down, I am so sorry this happened." His memory was starting to come back to him and he knew who had hold of him, after everything he had just witnessed in his own mind, the greasy git suddenly didn't seem so greasy anymore. In fact he felt more warm and comforting and human than anything else at the moment.

"I am sorry about earlier. I know you assumed it wasn't an accident like I claimed and your right. I just wanted to know why you hate me so much. I know now and I don't blame you, at all. I had no idea my father was such an ass."

Harry felt fatigue take hold of his body, his vision became blurred and his hearing grew fuzzy.

"Oh God, is he coming back, please no… I can't fight him off again." Harry said drooping like a flower that had gone days with out water.

"Hush boy, your body is simply to tired to stay awake. You fought against the dark lord for nearly two hours.."

"Tow hours?" Harry asked in surprise.

"You managed at the last moment to push him out. I can say now that the lessons haven't been in vain. As for what you saw, we can speak of it later. Sleep now, he won't be able to get back in for a few days, no doubt he is as drained as you are. Sleep and don't even think about dreaming you silly boy."

Harry smiled and gave a content sign; he didn't care if Snape thought he was silly as long as the man kept holding him. His father had never held him, or his mother, at least not that Harry could remember. The Dursley's had never held him or even tried to touch him for that matter. This felt like what it was, Snape the bat of the dungeons was comforting Harry Potter and lulling him to sleep. Harry wasn't going to pass up this experience, even if it was a one-time thing.

"Thank you Professor, I don't deserve your help, but you were here and you brought me back from his hold. I'd be dead had it not been for you."

"I said rest you stupid boy." But they both could hear the usual venom was not in the words and when Dumbledore rushed into the room having been called back from his trip to London he smiled when he saw the man comforting the boy like Dumbledore had know Severus could.

0000

Severus sat at his desk and scribbled away a couple notes to a students; he did not have the proper use on wormwood on his parchment. He would end up blowing half the classroom out of the ground if he tired this. He scratched a large P on top of the paper and set it aside. He was about to reach for the next paper when a soft knock came on his office door.

"Come in." Severus said not bothering to look at the door. He was expecting Albus but was instead greeted by a quiet shuffle of feet. He glanced up and when his eye caught the sight of a student he sat up fully and set down his quill.

"Mr. Potter, to what do I owe the honor of this visit?" Severus asked as he watched the boy nervously moved about but he didn't look up to meet his eyes.

Severus waited to see if Harry was going to be the first to speak and when the boy's eyes finally looked up at him he knew this was going to be difficult for him.

"When your tongue has loosened I will be right here waiting." Severus said as he turned back to his papers. A few more seconds went by before Severus felt a presence next to his arm.

"Is that the 7th years homework?"

"Your powers of observation are still as powerful as ever."

"Why does she say to add rose powder to a blood replenishing potion, isn't it rose_ hips_?"

Severus turned and looked at Harry full on and the boy seemed to shrink back a little, "I was good at the blood replenishing potions, I mean, I've used them a lot and all I think it's a useful one to know, all things considered."

Severus gave a soft humph and leaned back in his chair, "What do you need from me Mr. Potter?"

"I wanted to thank you, sir. For helping me, and I was hoping that you might be willing to overlook our previous disagreements and consider continuing my Occlumency lessons. If he tries to get to me again, I am not sure I will be able to fight him off. I need to know more, not just how to do it but how it works; I need to know the theory behind it. And I was hoping you would help me, sir."

Severus sat back and found surprise etched on his face, he had thought the boy had come to talk about the things he had seen in the pensive. But the boy didn't even seem to spare it a thought, all he wanted was to keep the dark lord at bay. He was being practical and knew that his own petty desires to know about his father and his actions needed to be put on hold while the dark lord was at a rise.


End file.
